Things that would've been funny in BD
by LORiDERR
Summary: Things that would've been funny in BD. SPOILERS. Meant to be funny. Duh..:D...
1. Chapter 1

**Lol I was bored so I came up with a list of things that would've been funny in 'Breaking Dawn'. I know none of these things happen in BD, cause I've already read it, but it would be really funny! Strictly for Entertainment purposes. OOC. SPOILERS. **

**Disclaimer:Twilight does not belong to me. Or Lil Wayne. Or Yo Momma. Or the show My Own Worst Enemy. Or Christian Slater. Or Epic Movie. Or Punk'D. Or Wedding Crashers. Or Knocked Up. Or Weezyyy. **

1. Jacob imprinting on Edward.

2. Edward leaving Bella at the alter for Jacob.

3. Someone (preferably Jacob) interupt Edward and Bella's honeymoon with a really stupid excuse. I.e. mutant cupcakes are invading and are threatening to destroy the vampire/werewolf race.

4. Bella leaving Edward at the altar for Jacob. Or Emmett. Or Jasper. Or Carlisle.

5. Same for Edward as #4, but for Jacob. Or Lauren. Or Angela. Or Rosalie. Or Alice. Or Tyler or Mike. Hey. Whatever floats his boat.

6. Someone already on Isle Esme, demanding that Edward and Bella leave Isle Weezy Baby.

7. Jacob and The Pack walk in the wedding posing as the 'Wedding Crashers' and what? Crash the wedding.

8. If someone -cough-TANYA-cough- objects randomly.

9. If Renesmee was a boy, named Charlisle Emerene Cullen. **(A/N that name sucks but I** **couldn't think of anything else)**

10. If there was a Yo Momma fight with The Volturi at the end of BD instead of no fight at all. Hey. At least it's a fight. There is no fight at the end of BD. TV just go 'DEUCES!' then are 86. It sucked.

11. If Rosalie ended up jacking Renesmee. (**Oh C'mon! Don't get mad. We all know that was what she was planning. Like she'd ever be nice to Bella for no reason. Yeah rite.)**

12. If when Jake phased in front of Charlie, Charlie screamed like a girl and hauled ass.

13. If during the wedding as soon as Edward said 'I Do' the Punk'd crew came out ans was all 'Schwam! Schwam! We just Punk'd Edward! Schwam! Schwam!' **(I watched Epic Movie too much lol)**

14. If Edward had split personalities like Christian Slater like in that show 'My Own Worst Enemy' where one identity is Edward and the other is Edna, a werewolf punk-rock chick.

15. If Renesmee was all like 'I'm Outie!' and went to marry another wolf, not Jake.

16. If said wolf rubbed it in Jacob's face about how he's married to what's-her-face, not him.

17. If Charlie (when he saw Jake phase) was all like "OMG! A DOG! I'VE LIKE, ALWAYS WANTED ONE! C'MON JAKEY-JAKERS! YOU'RE COMING HOME WITH ME! O.o! BELLA'LL LOVE YOU! BUT EDWARD WON'T...AH WELL!"

18. If Jake _did_ imprint on that one chick. Lizzie. That would be super hilarious! Like you wouldn't laugh at that! I would. I already am! HAHAHAHAHAHA.

19. If Bella wasn't prego with Edward's baby, but with someone completely irrvelevent to the plot. Like Mike, Tyler, etc. etc.

20. Like when those guys in the first chappie that wanted to take pics of Bella's car were all like 'No flippin' way! You're bf _must _be a super rich vampy for you, plain Jane-" "HEY!" "to have a car so badass like this!'

21. If Jacob_ didn't_ imprint on Nessie. I would laugh, and cheer. And jump for joy.

22. If the Volturi were all like 'Yo! This herr chick-a-dee name Renazamay or however the hell you prenounce it is like, not cool! We must like, go to war or some shiz like that!'

23. If Charlie called the Looney Pin** (Inside Joke)** to commit Jacob for making up silly stories, even _after _watching Jake phase. That would be eff-ed up.

24. If Rosalie was all offended by Jake's blonde jokes and was like 'I am soooo like, not like, blonde, and like, conceited, dog! Word!'

25. If Bella woke up while Edward was biting those pillows and was like 'Is someone hungries? Does my Eddy-Weddy need to hunt? Does he?' Just imagine her cooing to him, like he was a baby. Ha.

26. If Charlie exploded like when wolves phase when he found out that Bella was getting married to Edward, and when he saw Jake phase, and when he found out Bella was prego.

27. If someone random walked into the scene while Bella was giving birth and was all like 'Is everything okay?' and Bella's all 'GETTTTTTTTTTT OUTTTTT!!' like in 'Knocked Up'. LOL!

28. If when Bella was pigging out when she was on her honeymoon and instead of the 'rancid chicken' she ate (unknowingly) Edward's left foot**. (Yeah. That was stupid! LOL.)**

29. When Bella was being changed, when Jasper walked out the room he's all like, "EMO MOMENT!' **(Wow that makes no sense. No offence to anyone! C'mon. Jasper isn't _really _emo. But it's a funny thought!)**

30. If Renesmee was really stuck up. Like, Bella:Renesmee did you finish your chores? Renesmee:Geez Ma shut up already! Cut the friggin umbilical cord already! I'm like, three months old already! GET OFF MY BACK WOMAN! Jeesh.

31. If a werewolve randomly EXPLODES! during a really inapropriate moment. Like when Bella and Edward are having a 'serious moment.' That would be a sight to see.** (LOL!!)**

32. If Bella _didn't _get changed or prego and they just went on normally. **(That would really piss alot of people off. Not that BD didn't get the 'pissing people off' section covered. Really. BD pissed me off. LOL. Seriously. It did.) **

33. If Victoria 'magically' came back alive and demanded revenge. In the form of following Bella around with a bullhorn yelling, 'Eres feo! Tengo llamas en mi cabeza! Mi amante esta muerto!' over and over again.** (That means 'You're Ugly!I have flames on my head! My lover is dead! in spanish. Just in ****case...) **

**Well there you have it. Those are some really funny things that would've been a laugh riot to see in 'Breaking Dawn'. Too bad none of this crap happens. This could just be a one-shot or a story. It's whatever. I can do it to the whole series, if that's like, what you guys want. If it's not, that's cool. I don't care. I just have alot of spare time on my hands lately...go read my other stories too! Review those! Tell me if you want this to be complete (a one-shot) or a whole story. Thanks!**

**-Lori- **


	2. Superr Sorry!

**Hey I'm sorry that my spanish spelling was a little off I am fluent I just can't spell in spanish for crap. No like, seriously. Sorry! Thanks for correcting me! I am fluent (Mexican!!& proud!) it's just that my _madre'_ didn't teach me how to spell in spanish. And to this day, I still have no clue why. But I am fluent I just can't spell in spanish. Sue me.** **Gosh! Oh yeah since I can't spell it I asked for help from my friend (who _is _fluent) but she's a moron. And yea..sorry! _Perdoname'_! C'mon! I_ know_ that's spelled right! Or else I've been lied to...Lol. So yeah thanks for correcting me! I never was good at spelling in different lanuguages so yeah..I'm a bit rusty..But hey. Spit happens. Oh yeah BD didn't piss me off _per se' _it's just like, things that, in my opinion, would've been funny. But hey. Who cares what i think. I'm a 7th grader. But it's whatever. Yeah. So I think I'm gonna turn this into a story..but I might not update for a minute because like, school starts Monday and yeah. Huh. I'm glad there are so many spanish-speakers on fanfiction. Cool! It rocks to be Mexican! Or Salvadorian. Or Puerto Rican. Or any other spanish speaking ethnicity. Wee! Thanks bizzes! **

**-_LORi-_**


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